Feed Your Nervous System

with Elizabeth, nutritionist and founder of ByErikaElizabeth

We can talk about the micro-biome and gut health, we can talk about the endocrine system and hormonal health, but really, when it boils down to it, our degree of wellness and vitality is simply a reflection of the state of our nervous system.

Let me to explain.

We all have dreams, things we want to create, places we want to go, goals we want to accomplish, but in order to do so, we need adaptability. If you believe that you are your only limit, then you are aware that we often are the ones standing in our own way. For me, I used to let anxiety, my perceived "health crisis" and fear of being inadequate rule me.

How many people are limited due to their own stress and anxiety?

Or maybe, if you are anything like old me, you put rules and restrictions on your life so that you can remain “healthy” and in control. You miss out on life because you’re too busy coping.

Or perhaps you just don’t quite feel like yourself...I’ve been there too. You feel like you’re doing everything “right” and yet somehow, something is still off. You lack that luster + vitality we all desire.

By no means do I think an herb is going to revolutionize your life.

However, what I can tell you is that when you begin to nourish the most foundational system in your body - the nervous system - the benefits are endless.

You see, when our nervous system is off, that takes precedence - meaning, every other function in the body becomes secondary (digestion, detoxification, reproductive health, etc.). The nervous system has to perform in overdrive in order to keep you functioning throughout the day.

You may have heard of the phrase “fight or flight” or “sympathetic nervous system” - this is the place we want to be in only 5-10% of our life. This is the kind of nervous system activity that gets us out of real danger.

In acute scenarios, it is essential.

That said, existing in this state the majority of the time is destructive and detrimental to our health. In the western culture that we have created, the body is falsely perceiving dangers all day long due to the over inundation that we have immersed ourselves in. Our world and technology has evolved quickly, while our nervous systems haven't fully caught up. This is why we see an epidemic of adrenal fatigue and burnout, food intolerances and allergies and depression and anxiety at an all time high.

THIS is why “stress management” is so critical to not only our health, but to the evolution of society.

But I’d like to take it a step further.

What if rather than simply managing our stress aka coping (not thriving), we went in and improved our bodies relationship to stress?

Here’s the deal, our world is not slowing down anytime soon. In fact, the demands are only going to continue to increase. So instead of coping, why don’t we take preventative measures to become robust and adaptable - able to take on more with a sense of ease and grace. Our body stops perceiving a busy lifestyle as danger, and starts being able to respond appropriately, rather than react from a place of survival. AND, we’re able to consciously choose rest, when that is what the appropriate response is.

The issue is NOT stress, the issue is the way in which we currently relate to the stress.

This is where adaptogens come in. Adaptogens are a class of herbs that work in collaboration with your body to adapt to perceived stress. Through time, these are the herbs that have developed a high level of resiliency within their nervous system (yes, plants have nervous systems too). When we consume adaptogens, we actually infuse this same resiliency, aka adaptation energy, into our own system. When this occurs, the body shifts from sympathetic dominance into parasympathetic nervous system activity - in other words, a state of rest and rejuvenation.

This is the state in which the body and mind process stress and eliminate stress chemistry from the body. Similarly to why sleep is so important to our health, existing in the parasympathetic state is crucial for us to experience balance and harmony.

As we stabilize the parasympathetic nervous system, only then do we really begin to notice sustainable differences in our mood, our energy levels, our productivity levels, our ability to digest food, our physical appearance, etc.

Through this, we actually improve our relationship to stress by increasing our bodies efficiency to process our environments.

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People tell me daily about how I have developed a niche for myself in both the yoga and psychotherapy fields. I always nod, say thank you and divert the conversation elsewhere.

Because
In my experience, there are two tracks that direct my train.

The first track is this:
You can't help everybody. 
So help somebody.
To prevent helping nobody.

The second track is this:
Go where you are invited and welcomed. 
Do not trespass.

I aim to stay the course with these two primary tracts intact. It is easy to get derailed you know. Helper mentality dressed up as evangelical colonialized savior mentality thinking. Rogue bushwacking forsaking rules and regulations. Never taking any risks. Never slowing down.

For me, a niche market is not an elite crew of people. It is not a VIP client or special high paying customer. It is not a limited special population with any kind of special needs. It is not a box to be screwed into. It is not a place to save or people to heal. It is not a place or space where I get to build whatever I want and then charge in a way that is unjust to the original people or place.

A niche market--your niche market--is simply and metaphorically that very special island of service that calls to you, that invites you, and for which you have skills to offer.

You are not there to colonize or fix.

Its the land that for a long time has been calling you home. And so you built a ship, honed some sailing skills and made your way to that special shore, that special land, those special people that is special because it and they know your name--your true name.

They will not hail you preacher, leader or crown you guru. Together you will be able to build a community where perhaps in the past you were simply a floater and distant traveler. An outsider.

Your niche market is that spot of earth in the vast sea of your industry that calls to you. Its land is your body and your breath. Its where you can unpack your burden and your skills and make a home.

A niche is not something you identify. It is something you listen to and for, carried on the wind. You can pinpoint a niche market but you will end being a colonizer. Allow yourself to be in awe of discovery and trust the home--the island where you belong that emerges out of the distance--whose people know your name. And are waiting for you to join in community with them.

It is not something to be had or gotten.

That's the niche. 
Your place.
Amongst the things 
And the People.

There were really very few things I enjoyed about being pregnant with my daughter. I was sick every day, all day for six months. I spent the first three and a half months laying on friends couches and puking in their trashcans while we looked for a place to live. I hated the giant boobs (little did I know they would get even bigger when I started nursing). I didn't like the constantly changing body. I was a magnet for unsolicited, arrogant and annoying commentary and advice. I literally couldn't walk or go anywhere without a chorus of voices. I had fleeting moments of excitement and happiness during my pregnancy with Olive, but not the kind that so many women in my life told me I was surely having or should be having.

What I experienced the most in those months was free-fall. For the first time in my life, I had no choice but to stop fighting and just listen. Listen to what I needed in a way that I had never been able to do before. I became completely unapologetic about my needs. I became unabashedly unafraid to disappoint and be myself. Because my Self no longer belonged to me. In fact, I became secondary. I became a vessel. I became the earth for someone else. And so I learned what service felt like in a way I couldn't have ever had before. I did not feel excited or happy nor did I enjoy this process.

But I accepted it. And in the acceptance, I let go. In the letting go, I received the experience fully. In receiving I drank it in. In drinking it in I made good choices. I let myself be consumed by it. I allowed transformation to happen.

I really disliked being pregnant. There I said it. Like I basically hated it. So much so I actually do not look forward to being pregnant again one day.

But here is the thing. I loved giving birth. I loved giving birth so much that I still have dreams about giving birth. I dream about giving birth to other peoples babies. I'll do the pregnancy thing again just to give birth to another human again. The most wonderful experience of my life was birthing my daughter. And guess what? My birth did not go to plan. I transferred to the hospital at forty two weeks and a few days after spending months planning a home birth. And I managed to have an incredibly empowering birth experience despite this change. I think it was in part the great education I had received from my midwife and I felt totally capable of speaking up for myself. I think I also felt total relief that I would no longer be pregnant.

The idea that perfect mothering comes from perfect pregnancies is a horribly unhelpful myth. The idea that our children are damaged if we hate being pregnant with them is also a myth. Because they are also marinating in all the other feelings and self-talk too. Like surrender and acceptance and fortitude and grace. Our babies do not need to marinate in the perfect soup of hormones. They need to marinate in Love. And by Love, I mean that "deep okayness". By Love I mean, that sense of wellness, not perfection. That sense of peace. I felt a lot of that during my pregnancy even though I struggled a lot.

My toddler has a deep capacity for emotional regulation and is perfectly healthy and fine. She didn't get a perfect womb. She didn't have the perfect birth plan. She wasn't born on her due date. She doesn't have a perfect mommy.

One day she'll need to reconcile with her body. She'll need to learn to love it even though it feels yucky sometimes. She'll need to accept all her parts. She'll need to love herself. She'll have to reconcile my insane love for her and the fact I didn't love my pregnancy with her. I hope I've taught her about love, juxtaposition, reconciliation and wholeness. My kid needs a whole mommy. Not a perfect one. My pregnancy wasn't enjoyable, but it taught me self-love. Olive taught me self-love. She taught me about being whole.

Birth is the ultimate reckoning. 
Of Love.

I'll never forget the moment I realized Olive was going to come out of my body at any moment. I had reached down and felt her head.

Something inside said, "stop pushing."

So I did.